Tuesday, November 13, 2012

6 Months ~ Where I am today

Today marks 6 months since I said goodbye to my sweet girl, Amy. On the one hand, I can't believe it. On the other, it seems like forever. These months have been fraught with so much pain and so many tears. There have been times I thought I would be just as happy to lay down and die. That's just the honest truth, folks.

Thankfully, those moments didn't last long and were replaced with a knowledge that I am needed here. God isn't finished with me yet; no need to rush things along no matter how sad or depressed I may be at any given moment in time.

How did I overcome those thoughts and feelings? Prayer, plain and simple. I have asked  my family and friends time and time again for prayer, and I know that each one has been heard because there is a determination in me to survive. The only way that is possible is through Christ and his strength overshadowing that of my own. That's just what Philippians 4:13 says ~ "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" That is Truth! I am weak but He is strong!

I know there are challenges to come - Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother's Day, the 1 yr anniversary of her death - and I will probably still be asking for prayer, but I have gotten to a place where I can pray too. For a time, I couldn't. Words would not come. But my fellow sisters and brothers in Christ stood in the gap for me, and for that I am so thankful!

My heart still aches and my arms feel empty as I travel this road of grief. After all, she was my 'baby' for 28 yrs. I know it will be a lifetime before complete healing takes place but as time goes by the days get more bearable, more joyful, and more anticipated!

At times, we all need encouragement. I don't know what you might be going through but in hopes that one of these songs will touch a chord in your heart and soul, I want to share the music we played at Amy's memorial service (ok, we didn't play the videos, just the songs) and explain why we chose what we did. First off, she loved music. I mean really loved music. All kinds too! She had lots of cd's from all genres; Country and Contemporary Christian being her favs. So with that in mind, we chose two songs from her favorite artists - What a friend We Have in Jesus by Alan Jackson and In Christ Alone by The Newsboys. The final song we played was Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) by Chris Tomlin because her chains are gone and she's been set free! Amen & Amen!!!







On a side note: I know my heart is healing because for months I couldn't listen to these songs. The first few times I finally did, I bawled...buckets of tears. For the first time this week I didn't shed a single tear. Oh, I got choked up but no tears fell. I was able to smile and sing through each song, and raise my own hands in praise to Him who sits on the throne of Glory!


And I just had to share this:
~ Willow Tree Angel ~
Bringing a triumphant Spirit,
inspiration and courage
My sister Susie, along with our precious friend (Aunt) Bonnie, bought this lovely angel from Willow Tree to sit on top of the wooden urn that was fashioned beautifully by my brother, Gene.

Why this particular angel you may ask? Because they imagined Amy throwing her arms up in praise and shouting I'm here! JOY overflowing!!!

Pretty cool, huh?



Have a great day in the Lord!


The Angel image is from Willow Tree. Just click on her to go there. 
Videos are on YouTube. No infringement intended. 
Images of Amy are mine, Please don't take them or pin them.
Thanks!


8 comments:

  1. when there is grief such as yours, I cry and pray that God will enfold you with his love each moment that you need it till you are there in his prescence and with her again...
    God Bless you and yours.

    Paula O

    ReplyDelete
  2. It must be so hard some days. I'm happy you've found a way to find comfort during the grief, and that your heart is beginning to heal.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Grief can be such a bumpy road. We never know when something will trigger memories of our loved one--along with tears. I pray that when those tough times come you'll feel the comforting presence of the Lord.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks, Y'all! I appreciate your thoughts and prayers. There are moments that bring tears. Just the other day my husband found a box of her toys in the attic and when I heard Elmo laughing and singing ( I was down below) I started to cry. They turned to happy tears as my youngest son started singing the song and dancing, though.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love is sent your way, Precious Anne. Kathleen

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Anne, your words are so touching,honest and heartfelt. I pray for the Lord to comfort you and hold you close during those moments of grief and sorrow. Be kind and gentle with yourself during these times and trust Him to deliver you through the pain. Praise be to God that the healing is beginning. I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I feel with you and your family. I understand that the pain feels almost indescribable. I will pray for you. Warm Hugs and blessings upon you! Zinnia

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am new to your blog but as I read your honest discussion of your grief at losing Anne my mother's heart was so touched. I haven't lost a child but friends of mine have and altho their grief continues they are moving ahead in God's Amazing Grace and I feel you are too. I love this rendition of that song My Chains are Gone! A couple nights ago we sang that song at a foreign missionary commissioning service because these 84 people have had to loose their chains holding them here to this continent and go where God leads. May you continue to go forward living as a testament of Anne's short life! <3 Darlene

    ReplyDelete

I am so delighted that you've taken time to come by and comment. Blessings for a joy-filled day!

1 Corinthians 1:3 ~ Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.